Return of the croc.

And so it begins.

I feel like I have body lice, I am SO itchy. All over.

Well, that's a lie. I'm not itchy all over, I'm itchy in like 3 spots on my stomach. It's my own fault though, I'm far too forgetful to put lotion on after a shower. ITS SO MESSY. But this spot on my stomach is going to force me to pull my shirt up in front of 5 patients and rub my stomach against the spackled wall for relief.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE IT STOP.

Adventures in Stank.

It seems I attract the stank.

Remember the neighbor whose breath smelled like dicks? Wellll, my new job has brought me a therapist who smells like crotch. Constantly.

I'm not sure how you can avoid smelling yourself when your scent leaves a trail of little stars behind you. I was sitting here typing away and I knew crotch was behind me, I mean how could I not? I was in close proximity and there were small alarms going off around me. I turn around to grab something off the floor and plant my face RIGHT INTO THE CROTCH.

No no no no no no. There are far too many things wrong with this entire scenario, I apologized and tried to regain my composure but that wasn't all that easy. Wrong, just wrong.


I'll have to recap the naked man's ass in the women's bathroom another day, it's all too much for one day.