The hair club for women.

I would like to find out who decided they should put 'pump' dispenser on bottles of conditioner, and when I find who they are, junk punch them.

I was at Walmart and saw that Tresemme was on sale, and they had an EXCLUSIVE salon style pump on the shampoo and conditioner! Although this wasn't my select brand of hair products, I figured hey, these are on sale and Oh my god. THE PUMP. I mean, how fantastic would it be to just leave the bottle on the rack and just be able to pump it! How simple.

FUCKING WRONG.

This would be a great product for me if I was either A: a child with minimal amount of hair or B: a balding female who cries in the shower. Since I am neither, I have to sit there with water pounding me in the face, desperately trying to pump conditioner out of this bottle. Every single pump, I receive barely enough conditioner to lather my bangs, my hair is down to my ass, come on now, I NEED A LITTLE MORE. Finally, after 5 minutes of desperate pumping, my palm is now filled with luxurious conditioner but my water is now cold and I am eager to hang myself with the shower curtain.

So this is my warning to you, do not buy into that ridiculous marketing, those fucking pumps are taking away precious moments and tons of hot water.

Dicks.